Van Diamondfinger

Van Diamondfinger is the pen name of Van Choojitarom. He is a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where he has taught science fiction writing. His work is sometimes mistaken for satire.
June 13, 2017

A short story from the Summer 2017 issue.

I’d been living in the kitchen for a while now. If I was going to live in only one room in the house, the kitchen was the logical choice, because that’s where the beer was. I was getting a lot of flak from the bathroom, so I didn’t spend a lot of time there. I knew there were things in my urine. I was the one who put them there. I didn’t want my toilet narcing on me.